Unemployed.

Assalamualaikum :)

Good news! I'm finally done with my degree in Bachelor of Dental Surgery after 5 freakin' years! Yeahuuuu!! What now?

1) So currently I'm unemployed. Went to try my luck at Starbucks, but I guess they wont be hiring me because I'm unable to go for the training. Jauh. Aku dah cakap aku boleh manage but they said it would be very costly and dangerous for me to travel that far everyday (Sungai Petani). Still hoping for the chance at the 2nd branch though. Bolehla aku training kat Starbucks Aman Sentral tu nanti. Haihhh sejak sebelum final exam lagi aku dah aim nak kerja kat Starbucks. Doakan!

2) Now I have a cat :) Finally Ummi izinkan bela kucing seketoi. Kakak aku adopt her from S.I Home Shelter dekat Shah Alam tu and hantar gambar suruh aku pilih. Aku just cakap nak yang lincah2 and kalau boleh dah neuter la supaya senang sikit nanti. I'm so blessed because my brother in law pun jenis cintakan kucing so they got everything ready priorly ; kotak berak, carrier, cat food, litter scoop. Lepas ambil kucing tu, diorang bawak pergi vet and we got to know that kucing ni tengah sakit. Ada eye infection, kutu, hidung sumbat, chlamydia infection. Kalau lambat sikit kucing tu boleh jadi buta. Awal-awal tu mata dia asyik berair, dia tak makan sangat sebab tak boleh hidu. Masa ni I was sitting for my finals so they handled everything.

Name? I named her Molar :) Pelik sikit I know but since I graduated in Dentistry so she would remind me of it!  Now dia dah selamat di Alor Setar, dah comel lincah bersih and properly potty-trained :) Ummi pun surprisingly sayang dia terlebih-lebih. Masa tidur pun sangup masuk bilik aku nak check on her. Before pergi kerja punnn. Kemain! How God can easily changed someone's heart :)

3) I plan to take up Mandarin class but since tak kerja lagi, aku taknak lah gunakan duit simpanan aku lagi.

4) Plan nak pergi kelas agama jugak. Weekly maybe. Sebab haritu masa stay kt rumah kakak aku, aku attend kelas tafsir. It was amazing to learn about the Quran. Rasa rendah diri bila ustaz tanya pastu kita terkebil-kebil. Rasa macam ya Allah I know so little about your Quran macam mana Quran tu nak tolong kita balik nanti...InsyaAllah, doakan :)

5) As of now aku agak berharap I wouldnt have a permanent job so soon. Tak cukup lagi masa nak kenal dunia luar. Hahahaha but I still wanna ace my SPA interview though.

Malacca Day

Assalamualaikum :)

It's a blessing to have a day off in the middle of the week (Rabu). Aku tak rasa tak best sebab by right harini aku posting Prosthodontics and I dont have any major case to be done asap. Esok pun ada Prostho lagi so Im pretty much enjoyed being alone in my room.

Semalam ada birthday celebration for Mark and Kern Wern, at Bites Cafe. Kat situ ada waiter kachak *tetibe* . Before pegi Fauzie call. Aku cakap la nak pegi cafe celebrate birthday kawan, tapi nak minum2 je sebab makanan kat sana mahal. Tapi aku dah makan dah petang tadi so tak kisah sangat. And he thought I was lying..

"Pergilah beli makanan. Harga jangan risau. Nanti saya bank in duit."

HAHAHAHHAHA. I was touched. By it was funny though. Masa abang ipar aku bagi duit pun aku rasa nak gelak dalam masa terharu tu. Sebab dah biasa dapat duit dari mak bapak tetibe ada lelaki lain nak kasi duit free I iz awkwardddddd. Kalau belanja aku makan itu sangatlah boleh but to bank in money and etc, seriously it's weird. But thankful sebab tau orang tu tak berkira dengan kita.

Another blessing that is bestowed upon me is my mom's willingness to pay for my flight ticket. Aku sedih jugak la sebab harga tiket melonjak naik sampai RM200+ from Alor Setar-KL. And jiwa aku meronta taknak naik bas balik Melaka sebab bontot sayeee sakit. Can call me mengada but thats just me :(

Usually I used my own money cuma termengadu sikit dlm group WhatsApp pehtu Ummi cakap takpe lah ummi belanja. And she gave me her credit card no.*nangis*

Ya Allah, thank you for the neverending kindness from people around me :) Walaupun rezeki tak de la terlebih-lebih tapi Alhamdulillah selalu cukup untuk keperluan sendiri.

Small Thing Matters.

Assalamualaikum :)

I'm deeply saddened by the fact that my laptop screen had turned completely green tonight. Sakit mata. Duit takde. Macam mana nak tengok drama Melayu sayeee :(

And suddenly dapat mesej dari kakak. She asked me ada teringin makan pape ke weekend ni? Aku pun cakap la kalau ada duit confirm ah nak makan bla bla bla. 15 minutes later..

"Weekend ni gi belanja diri sendiri...have fun...and relax sekejap" <-- banking="" caption="" gambar="" maybank.="" online="" p="" resit="">
Tak banyak mana pun, but Alhamdulillah for having such a good and thoughtful sister.

YA ALLAH TOLONGLAH BANTU AKU REPAIR LAPTOP AKU NI TANPA PERLU GUNAKAN DUIT AKU SENDIRI, AMIN.

Varicella Zoster

Assalamualaikum :)

So one day I got lots of phone calls from Fauzie. Masa tu tengah mandi so I ignored them. Lepas dah selesai semua, I picked up the phone. Fauzie said he was admitted to the hospital, aku cakap "jangan nak tipuuuu lah" (sbb last time dia masuk hospital senyap-senyap je) but this time I was surprised that he told me.

So kawan kena varicella zoster virus. Main reason he was being hospitalized sebab roommate dia tak pernah kena lagi so he didnt wanna infect him too. I was lucky sebab kena infection masa kecik-kecik, but I could still recall. Demam dia sangat memenatkan. You feel weak, tired and nak berjalan pun payah sebab joints macam lembik semacam.

Today I was a bit moody. No reason. Ketuk bilik Pah , tapi dia tidok. So sebenarnya harini aku tak jumpak orang langsung. And then Fauzie called. He could sensed my voice. Semangat kawan cerita macam2 about his juniors and all but the line wasnt that good. Aku tak sampai hati nak suruh dia ulang sebab dia cakap macam takdak pause. I know he wud ulang 78 kali if he had to as long as I listen.

But he's sick anyway. Might as well berlakon. Hehe.

Sorry if you read this. But I could still remember that one thing u said,

"Kalau kita tak mampu nak jadi doktor yang hebat pun takpe, tapi jangan jadi doktor yang membahayakan pesakit."

Nafsu.

Assalamualaikum :)

Teringat cakap Paklan, he believed that bila kita doa nak masuk ke syurga, Allah takkan masukkan kita dalam syurga just like that. Instead, He will provide ways for you. Options. For you to choose.

- Kucing mintak makanan kat gerai (nak bagi ayam, atau nak habiskan then kasi tulang je, or tak kasi langsung)
 - Orang mintak derma (nak bagi atau nak abaikan je)
- Kawan mintak tolong (nak tolong ikhlas atau nak tolong sambil memberontak or taknak tolong langsung)

And many more.

Samalah macam bila kita mintak Allah lindungi kita daripada dosa besar, kemungkaran. In my case, aku bersyukur Fauzie tu jauh. If he's near, I would have asked him out every single day. It's wrong, regardless of your excuse. Thus, the only way God has helped me is by placing him farrrrr away. Or else I wud have committed more sins.

When opportunities come, grab it. Allah dah bukak jalan. Sayangnya kita tak ambil sebab kita tak nampak ganjaran tu depan mata. Allah tak pandang end result, dia pandang usaha kita bergerak ke arah tu.

Another way untuk paksa diri tak jadi selfish, jadi humble is that..next time when u wanna donate to tabung masjid, bukak purse and dermakan jumlah duit yang paling besar. SubhanAllah I've experiencedthe miracle after practising for a while. Perangai suka berkira, suka mengungkit, suka mengingat hutang org berkurang slow slow. There's this one sister who owe me RM1000+ pastu lari tak reply2 text. Then akak aku cakap...

"Mesti ada sebab akak tu susah nak bayar hutang. Cuba check diri kita. Kenapa Allah tak mudahkan jalan untuk dia bayar hutang..."

I ended up halal kan saja dan doakan dia bahagia with her husband (after frequent episodes of nak meletup sebab duit tu apparently is untuk aku menikah) but was that money even mine? 

Nafsu. Is our greatest weakness. Di akhir zaman maknusia bukannya bertuhankan syaitan tapi nafsu.

I'm thankful to have friends who are always willing to help me in training myself to become more generous. It is a slow process, but Im glad we are heading there together.

This is a reminder for me and for you.

Friends.

Sometimes I got mad at my friends for the wrong reasons. Until I took the time to reflect on myself.

Sebenarnya aku sangat bertuah, ada kawan-kawan yang sanggup tegur bila aku buat salah.

Contohnya, satu hari aku terpakai baju yang jarang. Pagi, A tegur. Lepas habis kelas, B tegur. Nak keluar rehat, C pulak tegur.

Tapi di masa yang lain, XXX pakai baju jarang. Takde siapa sanggup tegur sebab semuanya takut.

Orang yang sanggup jujur dengan kita ni, zaman skrg mungkin ada satu dalam seribu je. So I'm very thankful :)

Goodbye, Mak.

It was 6.30 pm on a hot Sunday when I heard my phone ringing. I was still half-awake when Ummi asked,

"Dah dengar news ke? Mak Fauzie dah takde."

"Ohhhh..."

 I didnt know what to feel. Despite knowing that he was in deep misery, I had the gut to upset him more by being immature, last night. I knew I was gonna regret it. But I let my ego wins.

I cried, without Ummi knowing. I cried, because I couldnt imagine how Fauzie is taking everything in. He lost his father during his 2nd year. And in his final year, he lost his mother. And he was in India when he lost both of them.

I never cried because of someone else's pain. I didnt know why I cried this time. Maybe it's because I always waited for the day to come, when I can finally say to his mom ; "If I were to have a son, I would want him to become just like Fauzie..."

Allah tak izinkan aku jumpak Mak. Still, He let me skyped with her twice, and spoke via phone a few times. I'm still sad, because I never had the chance to meet her personally, and I knew she would never know how I look like. She was blind, because of her diabetes.

Above all, the main reason I'm sad is, I'm sad on behalf of him. Beratnya ujian yang Allah bagi dekat Mohd Fauzie.

I'm thankful, because Ummi was deeply concerned about him. She kept on calling me, asking if she could go and visit the family. Katanya, dia teringat suara Mak, ajak melawat pergi Terengganu. Mak banyak kali cakap nak call Ummi, bincang pasal Fauzie dan aku. Tapi, nampaknya tak sempat langsung.

Mak was a lucky woman. Tak semua orang berpeluang ada anak sebaik Fauzie. I'm not saying this because I love him. But these are the reasons why I appreciate his presence in my life.

We dont communicate everyday. And when he's at his lowest point, he didnt find me. He would search for God. One day, Mak masuk hospital, and I lost him for a few days, until his roommates texted me via Facebook, saying he was worried about Fauzie because he had been crying and reading Quran all day. His roommate is a Tao. (Taoism). I was relieved, because I know he's safe in God's hands.

When he went back home, he would become the Imam to his mom, reciting Quran for her. His life revolved around taking care of his mom, making use of the days left. And when I text him when I'm at home, he would ask me to go help Ummi, and stop texting him. Susah nak cari lelaki yang tau hormat anak dara orang, tau letakkan diri dia kat mana, that he's inferior than my parents, my time doesnt belong to him...everything is just the way that I want my anak gadis to be respected and treated later. And that, came from a good upbringing from his parents.

While I'm typing this, we still havent communicate. If Ummi didnt call me, I wouldnt have known at all. Semoga Allah tempatkan Mak dalam kalangan orang yang soleh. She went through a lot. It's time for her to finally rest.

#8February2015

The Best Oral Surgery Posting in My Life :D

Assalamualaikum :)

Yesterday (15 January 2014) was a really good day for me. I had a patient for impaction, and he's someone whom I care about for the reason of him being so punctual, cooperative, and he doesnt talk unnecessarily.  I was so excited the night before as I was going to do it under Dr Venkat's supervision and guidance. I had longed to do one impaction under him ever since I assisted Chen Wei.

My patient (Mr Iz) arrived at 10.15am as promised. Already told him to eat breakfast and brush his teeth before coming. I took around 15 minutes to get everything ready. We had to use the chair at the bay since the one inside the OT room was malfunctioned. When he sat on the dental chair, I administered the local anaesthesia. Sebenarnya aku nervous sampai aku terlupa nak bagi topical. Huk!

Dr Venkat gave me 2 options for the extension of the incision, either do it on the middle of the 2nd molar or extend it slightly anterior to include the interdental papilla between the 1st and 2nd molars. I opted for the 1st one since I wanted to try doing it under a smaller field and also because aku taknak suture at papilla.

Sebenarnya aku rasa smaller field mcm lagi senang because it's easier to manage. After that, I did my buccal guttering. It took only few minutes sebab aku dah power. HHAHAHAH. No lah. Kalau baca Dr Syamirul punya blog, he believes in OBSERVE, ASSIST, PERFORM. That was exactly what I did so it was quite easy bila dah tau how to go about it.

Then came the most fun part ; splitting the tooth. It was a distoangular impaction which is the toughest of all. Yang mana aku rasa mcm takboleh buat, I let Dr Venkat did it for me as I didnt want to jeopardize the patient and also because I wanted to minimize the time. After that, he helped me to elevate the tooth. When it started to become a bit loose or mobile, he got up and asked me to take my time in removing it.

Truth is, aku paling tak reti guna straight Coupland elevator sebab aku tak reti nak engage tang mana. Tried to do it according to his way but I failed. Then I managed to find my own application point and Pooop! The tooth just got elevated nicely. Ah! What a bless. Alhamdulillah.

Suturing was tough though. Iz bled mcm ayaq terjun and Dr Venkat said we might accidentally tercucuk one of the buccal arteries but he said itsokay. Just ask the pt to bite the gauze tightly for 5 minutes and he should be fine. Myra tried suturing but it was loose 2 times, and patient aku tu sebenarnya dah start sakit tapi dia tak berani cakap. Faham sangat dah. So I took over.

Masa aku bagi MC and prescription form, I saw Iz looking very tired and mata dia merah dah. Kesian pulak. I asked him to go back and rest, even asking him if he could drive in that condition. Hahahaha.

Oh ya, thanks to Myra and Yazid for being good assistants and runners and motivators :D

Later that afternoon, I had surgery practical. Basically we had to help the juniors but there were not many cases and some of my groupmates had one impaction case. So I spent my day talking crap with Dr Venkat.

Comel betul dia masa dia cakap dia dah tua and "I'm scared of getting old" sambil muka mencebik mcm kids. GILA COMEY WEYYY TAK TIPU ERGH.

Rupanya dia baru 34. We talked about coffee and he was surprised to know that I love Bru coffee. Said he would buy one for me "as an exchange of culture". Tah padia aku pon tatau. Bahasa dia macam-macam sangat. Layan kan je la selagi dia tengah dok sporting tu :S

The best part is he called me "little surgeon".

"Come here little surgeon. See this case and give your opinion."

"So what our little surgeon thinks?"

"Ask her. She is the little surgeon today"

Aku selalu rasa dia tak kenal aku pun. So it was quite a nice feeling not because I think I'm a that good, tapi sebab dia agak friendly haritu dengan aku to call me by that name. And aku kenal dia dari perspective yang lain. And I learnt a lot about impaction procedure.


Thankyou Allah :)

One fine Friday.

Assalamualaikum :)

Last Friday was quite eventful for me. For the first time, I had pedo patient that I could call mine (not literally as my friend kindly pass him over to me). His name is Ethan, aged 7, and he's very silent. He'd just smile and grin. Despite that, he's very clever for his age. He would raise his hands (never thought him to do so) when he started to feel uncomfortable. Mungkin Ain dah ajarkan dulu kot :D

I had to perform pulpectomy on him ; RCT untuk gigi susu. Sayangnya gigi dia boleh kata semua dah rosak. So people, jangan cuma jaga kesihatan anak-anak awak je, kesihatan gigi diorang pun kena jaga. Or else bila dia sakit gigi, dia akan kurang makan pastu jadi kurus.

When I tried to inject Ethan, he shouted but he didnt push the needle abruptly like some kids. And he didnt cry. Comel betul. Such a well-behaved kid. Then Dr Uma mula risau so she asked me to get up, and she ended up doing everything on him.

Ada 1 time tu Ethan pegang2 bebird dia. Aku mmg tak perasan langsung. Dr Uma yang tanya, "u wanna go toilet?" Barula dia angguk. *fuhhh fuhhhh*

And then I did something I deeply regret ; I forgot to monitor him seriously. I thought he was sucking his lips. Then Dr Uma came and shouted, "HE'S BITING HIS LIPS! DONT U SEE THAT?"

Alahai. Berdarah dasyat bahagian dalam bibir Ethan. I felt so guilty. Sebabnya, kids tak faham perasaan kebas tu. So diorang akan test dengan cara gigit. Lepas tu bila tak rasa apa, they'll bite harder. Ethan pulak taknak gigit gauze, so we had to keep on pegang2 bibir dia sambil igtkan dia jangan gigit. He only stopped when I showed him mirror.

______________________________________________

In the afternoon I called my patient whom I did crown on her. Dia call pagi tu, sebab one of the gigi is vital, and she felt the sensitivity on that tooth and Dr Kiran suruh call ptg tu jugak.

When she arrived, terus Dr Kiran cakap, "Miyn, we will adjust the crown this time okay? We will do everything again. I couldnt sleep last night..."

Sebenarnya ada problem sikit walaupun haritu dah ambil final impression. Esthetically tooth prep tu mcm tak cantik sangat. Aku pun rasa mcm kena buat baru. So memang aku gelabah sikit sebab aku tak suka bila aku tak well-prepared barang2. Nak ambil final impression perlukan banyak barang jugak at the chairside.

Rasa teruk bila Dr Kiran gelakkan aku yang gelabah when he said, "Miyn...stop..and breathhhee..."

Sebab aku sendiri pun tak suka org gelabah mak nenek. hahahahahha. To be honest aku manada gelabah. Aku blurr. Dia suruh amek mixing tip, aku tak register apekah benda tu. Dlm kepala aku igtkan spatula pastu aku end up berdiri kt nurse station tu sebanyak 10 saat. Duhhhhh!

Alhamdulillah, everything went well and I had some bonding session with Dr Kiran throughout the 2 hours. He remained calm and managed to have his sense of humour. He's such a good teacher, someone that I look up to.

Bila dia cerita dia kena buat complete denture on 100 patients, around 30 FPD, 30 RPD, 15 CPD, from clinical to lab works, aku rasa macam...

Bersyukurlah miyn ko kena buat 5 unit CD je! Patutla hebat sangat cikgu-cikgu aku. From zero diorang kena buat and faham. Fuhhhh, salute habis!

So now I can proceed calmly with my crown fabrication :) Alhamdulillah. Rasa sedih pulak lepas ni takyah buat crown dah, hahahahha 2 ketoi mcm sikit sangat.

Angel Eyes

Ahhhhh. Assalamualaikum :)

Where do I begin? I'm shamelessly have to make a confession, that I..

...am indulging myself in Korean dramas. Huargh!

I was actually watching this one Kdrama tajuk dia What Happens to My Family, it was fun until I fell in love with this one cute girl dalam tu. So I began my searching about her previous drama. And from there I found Angel Eyes.

Dia berlakon 2 episod je pun, tapi aku dah tertengok sampai episod 12 ni macam mana? :S 

What I loved about the drama is, watching how the hero became helpless and gained his strength from the women he loved (mom and girlfriend). 

Just now ada 1 babak ni, whereby heroin tu rasa gerammm dekat hero tu sebab dia hilang tetibe, and then she looked at her ring, and then she was assured that he was going to come back.

Teringat incidence few days ago. When Matpau spent his money on me, and I said membazir...he just replied,

"tengok cincin kat jari tu..."

He sure knows how to make me speechless. I guess bagus lah our long distance relationship ni. Jarang contact, jarang jugak mesej, jumpa lagiiiiii la setahun sekali but he always bought me things to keep me reminded of him.

Will disclose what he bought for me in another entry bila benda tu dah sampai. Although I didnt ask for it, I sure iz happppy :)

 

#PrayForPantaiTimur

Assalamualaikum :)

As you all are aware of, banjir yang jadi dekat beberapa negeri sekarang ni is the worst flood that ever happened in our country. At first, aku mengaku aku agak indifferent sebab diri sendiri dan keluarga masih dalam keadaan selesa. But not for long after aku mula rasa affected lepas terbaca status dan kisah kawan-kawan terdekat yang terlibat dengan banjir ni.

My house used to be affected around 2 years ago. Masa tu aku di India. Dan Ummi sorang-sorang kat rumah. I was kept updated by my sister yang masa tu di KL. Air naik dengan sangat cepat pastu masuk dalam rumah, tapi Alhamdulillah cuma kat paras betis.

Tapi yang buat aku sedih ialah sebab Ummi terpaksa keluar dari rumah tu dan park kereta depan rumah kedai entah mana-mana pastu tido kat situ sebab taktau nak pergi mana.

So you could say that, I kinda know what it feels like. Walaupun kerosakan cuma sedikit nak dibandingkan dengan orang Pantai Timur sekarang ni, tapi dah cukup nak buatkan hidup kau huru hara sekejap.

_______________

Hari ni aku bersyukur.

Haritu aku jumpa cincin RM30 murahan kat Jusco. Lepas tu aku buatlah perangai mengada suruh matpau belikan dengan alasan aku nak pakai cincin dia bagi, fake pun takpe. Cincin yang mak dia bagi tu besar sangat dan hanya menjadi hiasan di dalam lemari. Matpau being matpau (he will give what he wants not what I want) he insisted that I buy a proper gold ring, bukannya something that I will throw away later on (macamla aku akan buang :(( )

So he transfered me some money and insisted that I go look for a new gold ring. Takfaham kenapa taknak bagi 30 hengget je tapi nak bagi ratus ratus but itsokay. It's his money anyway.

Lepas aku survey2, ternyata takde cincin yang dpt menandingi cincin sepuluh yang mak dia bagi ni. Boleh kata aku tak jumpa pun cincin sepuluh (which is cincin 999 : 99.9% gold). Aku nak yang kosong baru nampak classy macam Lord of The Ring, bagi aku yg berukir tu macam kureng sikit but they are either 916 or 750 ringan macam angin tak tipu. Matpau cakap, belilah anything yang buat aku happy. Disebabkan aku tak rasa happy, aku tak beli.

Alhamdulillah bila aku tanya Habib Jewels diorang ckp boleh kecikkan cincin dengan bayaran around RM30. Mulanya it was impossible sebab cincin ni 'padu' according to the abang but tukang cincin cakap boleh. Alhamdulillah.

____________________

So as I got a new ring, of course I need to return the balance to Matpau back right? Petang ni pulak menderu-deru iklan datang, tentang siapa nak sumbangkan tenaga atau barang untuk mangsa banjir.

So I texted him,

"Do you mind contributing some of your balance money utk mangsa banjir? Saya nak awak dapat pahala sikit walaupun awak jauh"

 He asked me how much is the balance. And then he replied;

"Bagilah semua"

T_________T

Tahniah arwah pakcik Ismail. You raised a good son. Saya harap kalau ada jodoh, we can produce a good son like yours one day. Semoga pahala kebaikan yang dibuat oleh anak pakcik, bagi manfaat dekat pakcik kat sana jugak insyaAllah.

________________________

Pesanan seseorang..

Bila nak buat kebaikan, jangan fikir banyak kali. Hidayah Allah bukan datang selalu.

My 2nd Impaction Case

Assalamualaikum :)

Today I'm very happy and grateful. Allah had blessed me a good day. In the morning, there was a group of 3rd year students yang baru first time posting Oral Surgery. And today I had a patient for suture removal. So I asked the permission from Dr Koshy to let one of the juniors do it. He asked me to choose one but I couldnt (aku nak pilih budak perempuan paling cute tapi nanti macam favoritism terlebih awal pulak) so he picked the one on the dental chair.

She was very good. Seronok bila budak tu confident. I showed her once and guided her throughout. She didnt go gelabah like some people so I liked her :)

Then I helped them with an extraction, along with Naurah. Didnt know that teaching is fun, especially when you have the right knowledge. Rasa happy nak share dgn other people, happier when they were so keen on learning. Their knowledge on the first day of posting was waayyyyyyyy better than mine. I had..like, zero?

Then during the afternoon session, masa jalan2 dlm klinik suddenly Dr Koshy asked me to take the history of one patient (belongs to Laura) coz it might be an impaction case. Bla bla cut the story short, it was an impaction case. And I had to do it with Naurah along with Laura.

I remember hating impaction because I did it for 4 hours and it was on my brother. The guilt was still there. Like, seriously Miyn, 4 hours? But sokay ... I was actually quite excited after observing Dr Dhamindra yesterday. So I aimed to do it better this time.

.....

And yes, I was better at it. I reflected the mucose nicely, and Naurah helped to guide me. She did the splitting of the tooth, and I took 2 parts of the tooth out! And it was shorter than 4 hours hehehehhe so I'm happy. A bit of achievement eh miyn?

I believe that a person can be good at something if he does it a number of times, provided that he has the passion for it. Alhamdulillah for this another opportunity. Expecting more impactions in the future!

A Visit to Melaka General Hospital

Assalamualaikum :)

Today my group (A3) finally had the chance to go to the MGH for our Oral Surgery posting. We only go to the hospital on Mondays, and we rotate every 5/6 students each time. So basically our group is the last ones to go there.

At around 2, we waited at the lobby for Dr Venkat to arrive and accompany us there (comel kan macam bapak teman anak-anak hantar gi sekolah hehe). Sampai je klinik tu, he went to the see the person in charge and then baru dia suruh kitorang masuk, then dia pun balik lah kolej. Again, rasa macam bapak-bapak :p

I heard so many good stories about the oral surgery department, especially about this one oral surgeon named Dr Dhamindra so I was quite excited to meet him in person, and scared at the same time because I know I sure kena jawab soalan bertubi tubi pastu akan terserlah lah ketidakpandaian aku ni.

He was being friendly when he greeted us...

"Manipal students? Im Dr Dhamindra, this is Dr Johanis. Come lets see this opg..."

It was a case of impacted 3rd molars and the patient was scheduled for removal of all her 3rd molars under general anesthesia the next day. Fuhhh!

Yang comelnya diorang panggil IOPA sebagai xray kecik, OPG tu xray besar.

"Jom pakcik kita ambil xray kecik" HAHAHAHAH :p

Lepas tu mula lah boring sebab tak banyak case and Dr Dhamindra went somewhere else. So we were like mati kutu just mainly observe the instruments, the set up and how the dental officers kept on documenting their patient's treatment info.

Then Naurah went intai2 outside and I slowly followed her. We saw Dr Dhamindra inside a room, with a patient on the dental chair. Then ada abang DSA lalu, dia tanya, "nak tengok ke? Tanyala, kalau boleh then masuk.."

We got our permission then Dr Dhamindra terus tutup pintu, leaving the rest of our groupmates outside hahahahhaa. (Sorrry!)

Oh! He did the impaction case in only 15 minutes! (I actually literally recorded the time with my watch). Damn fast and nice weyyyyy. It was a clean procedure and he was so professional, cakap dengan patient dengan lembutnya I feel like everyone should remove their 3rd molar under him only. Ok over.

Then there was a case of natal teeth. Alahai so cute the newly born baby arrived in the Paediatric department dlm incubator (?) and all the DSA were trying to calm the baby. Naurah and I were so excited that the baby can brag around saying "Ya knowww, I had my first dental visit just a few hours after I was born!"

We observed how the specialist managed the baby, applying the topical LA before removing the natal tooth calmly, of course with the presence of his/her parents. Baby tu baik sangat, I'm sure he/she will grow into a good kid :)

And then we observed Dr Johanis removed an upper 3rd molar using elevators and extraction forcep. Selang2 sampaila gigi tu keluar macam eh senangnya. Then he brought us to take impression for a patient scheduled for an orthognatic surgery. Ajar-ajar sikit macam mana measure muka and ambil bites for record purpose.

To be honest, I kinda like the environment there. DSA semuanya happy-go-lucky je. Ok aku tengok yang lelaki je la sebab diorang muda and happening and ramai. Yang older sikit are females and diorang tak lama duduk kat situ but there was one helpful staff yang tolong a FYDO do charting.

I hope Allah will send me to the best place where I could learn the most, under the supervision of good dentists who are down-to-earth just like Dr Dhamindra and Dr Johanis :)

Anger

Today I got angry again.

Truth is, I really hate myself for holding things inside of me. Kebanyakannya tak bersebab dan kalau kau tanya kenapa aku rasa sekian sekian, aku pun taktau nak jawab.

Aku marah bila Fauzie sakit dan cakap nak tidur awal.

Aku marah bila aku nak balik weekend ni tapi kakak aku busy ada program. (dia offer untuk juggle between me and her works but I just dont. want.)

Aku marah bila patient aku terlepas ke tangan orang lain.

Aku marah bila aku tengok kuota Pedo aku sangat pathetic dan takde apa yang aku boleh buat.

Aku marah bila charger aku rosak, powerbank aku rosak dan duit aku pun rosak.

Sebenarnya aku sangat tau kelemahan aku. Aku cepat marah. Aku marah bila orang bagitau pasal perangai aku yang satu ni, mostly bukannya sebab aku in denial, tapi sebab aku seriously memang taktahu kenapa aku cepat marah dan aku marah bila aku marah.

Kakak aku dah banyak kali bagitau, I need to manage my anger. Fauzie cakap I need to manage my ego. He said I like to keep things to myself and not letting other people in. Aku cuma reply, aku dah biasa dengan cara ni. This is how I was raised. I wanna be strong like my mother.

"Saya tak cakap awak tak boleh jadi kuat macam ummi. Cuma awak kena faham. Ummi kuat disebabkan dia hidup dalam keadaan tu, dia kuat untuk anak-anak dia. Tapi awak bukan berada dalam situasi ummi."

Damn that was harsh. But it was a fact I refused to accept. Degilnya aku. Tapi dia masih tak putus asa dengan aku.

I'm really sorry for everything, everything from my actions that hurt people around me. A friend texted me saying sorry she thought I was angry at her. No, she was just the innocent trigger at the right time.

On a side note, seminggu tak jumpa Tuhan memang boleh kacau emosi kan.

Impromptu.

I wish I had a bunch of friends who are always excited for impromptu getaways.

It's been very hectic and packed scheduled as how final year should be. Sometimes I just wanna go to the beach, walk slowly, looking at whats happening around me, and take some time to think. Some time to appreciate the nature.

Go makan, go movies, go enjoy delicious food.

Problem is I got no company. Wish Fauzie is here. But Allah dah jawab doa aku untuk jauhkan drpd maksiat so He puts Fauzie away from me hence jumpa setahun sekali sudahlahhhhh miyn dont ask lebih-lebih.

Actually... I wish I'm home.

2014 Interbatch Culturals

Assalamualaikum :)

This weekend I finally had the opportunity to wake up a bit later than usual (being a female with the blessing by Allah for the time off solahs is amazing!). Last week I was so busy I couldnt wait for the it to end quick.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I joined the dancing competition this year. Since the competition was on Thursday, we practised quite hard starting from Tuesday itself. And bear in mind jadual semua orang tak sama. Some were stuck with their seminar presentation, some had competency test, some had electives. Phewwww final year is really testing our endurance.

Petang Khamis tu, Alhamdulillah my malay teammates yg semuanya 1 practical group (kecuali Fana) ada SDL oral surgery so we went to Jusco for a last minute accessories hunting. God was testing me by giving me massive flu on that day. Fuhhh!

Tak tipu memang aku mengantuk sungguh lepas makan cetirizine. Orang lain boleh rileks function lepas makan that pills but not me. I was feeling very dizzy and I might dozed off any minute. Before the dance, I didnt feel nervous at all sebab dlm hati memang tunggu time nak balik tido je. But, it turned out so well! All our lecturers (dental la of course ehem ehem) praised our dance because we were the only group yang buat unity dance ; Malay, Chinese, Indians, Nyonya, Ibans and finally all dance together. The feeling that I got on stage was unforgettable, apetah lagi tengok Dr Bashir joget sama dengan kitorang hahahahha. And I loved it that everyone clapped so hard for us. Mula2 ingatkan tak dapat sambutan sebab kitorang je yg lain dari yg lain but hoyeah they all loved it! Berbaloi sangat rasa practise berminggu-minggu :)) I love all my dancing teammates! We secured 3rd place by the way, hooray!

That night Myra and I mix beras for our rangoli on Friday. Rasa kesian kat diorang sebab sebenarnya aku yang beria nak masuk and I begged them to join it with me since they have the magical artistic hands, but they were sooooo cooperative and Pah came out with a beautiful morning glory rangoli for us.

There were a total of 5 BDS groups for rangoli, with 1 group being all boys ; ada TY, Kern Wern and Silk. Then ada group DJ+Yati+Ainsya, Chen Wei+Chien Ying+Jewel, lastly Nish+Bhai+Rachel. We literally conquered the other half of the hall. The time allocated was 1 hour and seriously I tel you it was not enough!!!! Our hands were shaking like hell. Dahla first time masuk takda experience so memang lembab gila nak siapkan. But we tried our best and I'm really proud of the final result. Dr Koshy said ours look Malay-ish and not like the other groups'. Aku macam nak cakap, that the whole point, sir but....I just said, "We are Malays anyway.." hehehehe.

Our group was 7th out of 9. But I'm happy as the 1st and 2nd places were secured by BDS groups as well, yeayyy! Rangoli was fun weiiiii rugi siapa tak masuk. Sedih la kenapa aku tak masuk sejak tahun lepaih kalau dak sure dah ada experience sikit. By the way kalau ada juniors baca ni and u guys plan to join rangoli next year, please tell me, I have a lot of rangoli powder that are unused. Please take them from me, sayang lah nak buang...


p/s : I dont plan to post any pictures in my blog, so if u wanna see my pictures (I basically share my clinical works and daily activities), do follow my instagram okay (@miynamin) . If I tak approve u can always leave me a direct message since I'm being selective nowadays sebab banyak pulak patients aku nak follow kt ig mana depa jumpa entah huhu.

Bye for now :)

Prostho Competency Test

Assalamualaikum :)

Yesterday, or should I say last weekend was a hectic one for me. I spent Saturday and Sunday to go searching for materials for my dancing competition and also rangoli. Ended up eating at Brother John and SimplyFish kopitiam (yeay!) walaupun tak berapa nak kaya but....my tummy needed that to make it happy, no?

And not to forget, I was still in the middle of finalising my Prostho seminar, and I had competency test for border moulding procedure both on Monday. So Sunday was a very very very stressful day for me.

Tapi kannnn, esok masa seminar, it was actually very easy. Dr Prashanti wasnt there because she had to be involved in the implant program, and Dr Abhishek and Dr Kiran didnt ask much questions. So I was quite happy :D

Masa competency test petang tu, aku agak sedih jugak tetibe tengok aku dapat dental chair demo tu, yang luaihhhh gila tuuuuu. Depan sekali pulak. Pastu depan semua takda orang. Pastu tengok2 ada a few dental chair belakang2 rosak so diorang transfer pergi depan and I was relieved hehe.

Auntie Marry came quite early so I started checking the tray extension inside her mouth. Bila panggil Dr Prashanti untuk confirmkan, she found a new epulis fissuratum inside the patient's mouth.

"This is not ethical. You cannot do competency test on this patient.."

"But maam, you were the one who approved this patient.."

"Yeah, but I'm sure it wasnt there. Knowing myself, I wouldnt approved such case"

Dr Prashanti has such bright eyes. This is not the first time she saw something other people couldnt. I really look up to her. Bila tengok, memang epulis tu baru ada.

So, she asked me to exclude that part and do border moulding on other areas. Secondary impression pun takpayah buat. Hooray?

Patutnya auntie tu kena undergo minor surgery tapi dia takuit la pulak. I will pujuk her until she comes :D

Esok insyaAllah I will perform another flap surgery. Aku buat masa pagi sebab kalau petang juniors 4th year pun ada clinic and usually mood lecturers sangat baik masa tak ramai orang. Of course la kan sebab tak berapa serabut. Hopefully everything will be fine and fast! :S

Patutnya buat laser tapi...bilik OT maybe guna untuk implant. Sobs.

Blessings.

Assalamualaikum :)

Today I had a patient who came to replace his Class IV composite restoration.

Sebenarnya first time dia datang dulu nak scaling je. Tapi 2 gigi depan dia ada caries dekat incisal edge tu. Gigi lain semua perfect. So, I told him that he needed to restore that teeth to look more handsome when he smiled.

Seriously la aku cakap macam tu. You have to care for the people around you because they might not realise it.

"What the mind doesnt know, the eyes cannot see"

He's in medical batch by the way. Sebab tu la aku buat macam kawan je huahua. He's a decent well-mannered Chinese guy, one batch under me.

After a week, he complained of chipped off restoration on one of the teeth. So I called him during my General Dental Practice to redo it.

After a week, again, it chipped off. Aduhai. Aku dah risau dah sebab I might caused him to be in pain. Exposed dentin kan.

I consulted Dr Alok regarding the issue dan dia cakap ;

"Have you checked the patient's occlusion?...Hmm, seee. Just call me when the patient comes okay? I'm not in charge during GDP but I can come. Thats what a teacher should do..."

So just now I called him. He told me that it might be because of inadequate isolation during restoration. Lepas dia ajar apa aku patut buat (selalu sangat belajar benda baru dengan beliau rasa macam nak nangis), I said,

"Sir, thank you, for willing to come here..." *dengan muka comel*

He said, "You can put your thanks in your pockets now. Dont thank me, I might redeem it for something later"

Hahaha. He is such a blessing sent by Allah to us. Really really thankful for having him here.

And the patient pulak, selalu cakap sorry sebab susahkan aku. Aiyo, he's also a gift to me. Selain baik, cooperative dan punctual, he just helped me to fill 4 quotas for Class IV restorations :p

Tahun ni Alhamdulillah, Allah tolong banyak sangat. Aku selalu doa, tolonglah hantarkan aku patient yg membenarkan aku buat treatment dekat dia dgn senang hati, yg bagi aku belajar dengan rela hati, dlm masa sama lembutkan hati lecturers untuk ajar aku.

So far, semua patients aku baik sangat2. Harapnya sampai habis final year akan dapat patients baik-baik je :)

Assalamualaikum :)

Today I'm so happy because I've done ortho case discussion and presentation. Fuhhhh! Rasa macam hilang 78kg beban di bahu yang aku tanggung sebulan. Reason being is, I kind of dislike ortho (not hate). But harini aku suka sebab Dr Reenu.

She just proved that there's hope left in Orthodontics for me to actually enjoy the posting. She made it fun, santai, tak stressful, and she always smiled :) love love! So whats left is for me to do the appliance and deliver it to my patient, yeahooo!

Petang pulak aku join Pedo practical group C because I'll be missing the class on Monday sebab ambil exam kan. Aku happy jugak sebab dah siap sampai tooth preparation and dapat signature, yeahuuu again! But the lab works never end though. Belum trim cantik2 cast crown patient, cast ortho patient. Pulak tu tadi malapetaka berlaku di mana wire aku patah masa aku tengah polish appliance aku. Dahla due date kena submit esok.

Lepas tu masuk dalam plaster room, rasa geram tengok sampah sarap banyak sangat. Geram dengan maknusia yang boleh tinggalkan mangkuk berisi plaster of paris tanpa basuh lepas guna, biarkan plaster atas meja, biar alginate impression kering dalam impression trays, biarkan chamber semak.

How can these people exist? How can u become a semak person?

So, I left the room and went back to the hostel to find some peace. Only benda ni je tak kasi aku happy.

Final Year Hectic Life.

Assalamualaikum :)

I'm supposed to have prostho competency test tomorrow, but the Auntie decided to go to KL so, I wont be having mine, instead I will have it on Monday.

Despressed gila sebenarnya tadi. Tapi fikir balik, aku sebenarnya dah drained out la these few days. A lot of things are happening around me so maybe bagus jugak rehat kejap malam ni. Malam ni je la.

Tadi classmate aku cakap, "you know, I think we are sooo busy during the class hours because most of the things we need to do in the lab. But once we go back, we are very free, right? Nothing to do.."

I was like, seriouslyyyyyyyyyyyyy??

Let me tell you apabenda la yang bagi aku rasa busy sangat macam seorang wakil rakyat nak dekat pilihanraya.

1) Orthodontic appliance aku tak siap lagi. Sikit lagi nak siap la. Kene polish. Tapi due date dia lusa. Kalau tak, nanti cikgu taknak bagi attendance untuk posting. Huahua. Masa yang ada untuk aku buat benda ni cumalah daripada pukul 5-6 petang. Itupun lab akan sentiasa penuh dengan maknusia.

2) Dance practise. Gatai sangat nak join. Alasan kononnya ni final year. Tapi takpe sebab aku enjoy buat tarian 1 Malaysia dengan classmates pelbagai kaum aku. Practice session will be at 7.30-10.30pm untuk malam-malam tertentu.

3) Seminar. Dengan takdir Ilahi, walaupun ada 5 subjek dan sepatutnya rotate every subject and every individual, aku dapat 4 subjek semuanya turn depan-depan. Next week aku akan habis seminar keempat aku. Ada orang geram sebab depa tak start 1 apa lagi seminar huahua. Memang serious penat pastu asyik muka aku ja naik mini stage depan kelas tu but mungkin ni cara Allah nak tolong aku so that nak dekat exam nanti takyah la dok risau pasal seminar dah.

4) Surgery. Aku cuma nak cerita yang aku buat impaction surgery dekat adik aku semalam hihi. Syahdu aku nak hantaq dia balik KL sebab dia tak cukup rest lagi kan tapi aku dah bagi dia makan aiskrim and bungkuskan bubur nasik. Dah belikan painkiller, bagi emcee semua so should be okay. Plus murah ja kot kalau aku buat. I dont like part kena keluarkan gigi tu. Geram bila dia bergolek-golek dalam bone tapi taknak keluar. But I'm proud of myself of whatever that I had achieved yesterday.

5) Competency test. Kitorang ada prostho competency test untuk border moulding, untuk surveying procedure, dan jugak untuk design removable partial denture. Ada competency test untuk surgery jugak. Pedo pun ada tapi sebab aku tak mencapai target kuota lagi so turn aku entah la bila. Test kalau setakat baca je takpa. Ni kena cari patient, kena prepare cast, dalam masa sama ada benda kena buat untuk ongoing patients lagi. So dekat lab tu memang ada macam 2-3 benda kena buat sampai pening dah nak start dengan mana satu.

6) Crown. Alhamdulillah setelah 2 kali patient yang aku request untuk crown gagal datang (Depa asyik lupa nak mai ja pasaipa tatau pastu lagi sorang tu hilang tanpa kesan), akhirnya tadi a nice cute auntie came to become my very first crown patient. Comel yang amat. Crown ni banyak jugak procedure dia. Masa datang kena buat examination and diagnosis, then present case and discuss dgn lecturer. Lepas tu ambil impression. In between appointments kena buat mock preparation on the cast, dptkan approval cikgu, lepas tu lengkapkan borang E&D tadi, make sure tau semua jenis procedures yang kita akan buat sebab agak banyak barang dan materials yg diperlukan masa procedures tu. Dahla dental punya barang banyak yg kita kena pandai manipulate, kalau tak dia akan set (keras), ataupun messy, dan menggagalkan semua procedures pastu kena buat lain. As a human normal la kalau 1 hari tu students semua panggil patients, lepas tu bila cikgu nak tolong kita, barang pulak tak lengkap, silap buat pulak tu, dia pun jadi emosi la dan serabut pastu nanti tak pepasal kena marah.

7) Ortho. Alhamdulillah walaupun aku cuma ada 1 je patient untuk ortho treatment, aku syukur sebab dia comel dan baik and very cooperative. The downside is dia budak medic and dia cuma boleh datang on khamis or jumaat je. So, lambat sikit la proses aku nak complete kan case dia. We need at least 5 cases, and have to complete 1 case. Aku harap aku boleh complete case dia ni sebab cuma minor teeth movement je yang diperlukan. Sesapa nak cantikkan gigi dengan harga murah bolehla jadi patient aku :D

8) Flap surgery. Alhamdulillah aku ada patient yang perlukan flap surgery for all quadrants in her mouth. Walaupun aku tak minat sangat buat surgery sebab cepat lenguh tangan dan nanti body aku jadi panas semacam bila aku terlalu cuba nak fokus mata aku, but Im thankful for the opportunity to learn from her. So far dah buat 1 quadrant and it was fun. Next, doktor aku cakap nak bagi try buat laser and patient dah agree. We'll see :D

What I could see in this final year is, clinical works sangat banyak. Lepas clinic habis, pergi lab. Lepas tu balik rasa penat sangat sebab penat berjalan berlari seharian. Pastu ngantuk. Pastu tak cukup masa nak study untuk clinical procedures, apatah lagi theory. Kalau ada seminar, masa akan spend buat slides. If ada test, baca untuk viva pulak. Sometimes bila balik bilik dan rasa penat, aku akan fikir, apela aku buat harini sampai nak bukak mata pun tak boleh...huhu.

oh. My dance competition will be next week. Then aku join ranggoli jugak for fun. Basically next week jadual aku penuh dengan test, seminar, competition, surgery. Tapi bagus jugak busy. Barulah belajar nak hargai masa lapang sikit :)

#Abang Zul kahwin Ahad ni! (abg zul tu lab technician kitorang. We're giving him a television!!)