Varicella Zoster

Assalamualaikum :)

So one day I got lots of phone calls from Fauzie. Masa tu tengah mandi so I ignored them. Lepas dah selesai semua, I picked up the phone. Fauzie said he was admitted to the hospital, aku cakap "jangan nak tipuuuu lah" (sbb last time dia masuk hospital senyap-senyap je) but this time I was surprised that he told me.

So kawan kena varicella zoster virus. Main reason he was being hospitalized sebab roommate dia tak pernah kena lagi so he didnt wanna infect him too. I was lucky sebab kena infection masa kecik-kecik, but I could still recall. Demam dia sangat memenatkan. You feel weak, tired and nak berjalan pun payah sebab joints macam lembik semacam.

Today I was a bit moody. No reason. Ketuk bilik Pah , tapi dia tidok. So sebenarnya harini aku tak jumpak orang langsung. And then Fauzie called. He could sensed my voice. Semangat kawan cerita macam2 about his juniors and all but the line wasnt that good. Aku tak sampai hati nak suruh dia ulang sebab dia cakap macam takdak pause. I know he wud ulang 78 kali if he had to as long as I listen.

But he's sick anyway. Might as well berlakon. Hehe.

Sorry if you read this. But I could still remember that one thing u said,

"Kalau kita tak mampu nak jadi doktor yang hebat pun takpe, tapi jangan jadi doktor yang membahayakan pesakit."

Nafsu.

Assalamualaikum :)

Teringat cakap Paklan, he believed that bila kita doa nak masuk ke syurga, Allah takkan masukkan kita dalam syurga just like that. Instead, He will provide ways for you. Options. For you to choose.

- Kucing mintak makanan kat gerai (nak bagi ayam, atau nak habiskan then kasi tulang je, or tak kasi langsung)
 - Orang mintak derma (nak bagi atau nak abaikan je)
- Kawan mintak tolong (nak tolong ikhlas atau nak tolong sambil memberontak or taknak tolong langsung)

And many more.

Samalah macam bila kita mintak Allah lindungi kita daripada dosa besar, kemungkaran. In my case, aku bersyukur Fauzie tu jauh. If he's near, I would have asked him out every single day. It's wrong, regardless of your excuse. Thus, the only way God has helped me is by placing him farrrrr away. Or else I wud have committed more sins.

When opportunities come, grab it. Allah dah bukak jalan. Sayangnya kita tak ambil sebab kita tak nampak ganjaran tu depan mata. Allah tak pandang end result, dia pandang usaha kita bergerak ke arah tu.

Another way untuk paksa diri tak jadi selfish, jadi humble is that..next time when u wanna donate to tabung masjid, bukak purse and dermakan jumlah duit yang paling besar. SubhanAllah I've experiencedthe miracle after practising for a while. Perangai suka berkira, suka mengungkit, suka mengingat hutang org berkurang slow slow. There's this one sister who owe me RM1000+ pastu lari tak reply2 text. Then akak aku cakap...

"Mesti ada sebab akak tu susah nak bayar hutang. Cuba check diri kita. Kenapa Allah tak mudahkan jalan untuk dia bayar hutang..."

I ended up halal kan saja dan doakan dia bahagia with her husband (after frequent episodes of nak meletup sebab duit tu apparently is untuk aku menikah) but was that money even mine? 

Nafsu. Is our greatest weakness. Di akhir zaman maknusia bukannya bertuhankan syaitan tapi nafsu.

I'm thankful to have friends who are always willing to help me in training myself to become more generous. It is a slow process, but Im glad we are heading there together.

This is a reminder for me and for you.

Friends.

Sometimes I got mad at my friends for the wrong reasons. Until I took the time to reflect on myself.

Sebenarnya aku sangat bertuah, ada kawan-kawan yang sanggup tegur bila aku buat salah.

Contohnya, satu hari aku terpakai baju yang jarang. Pagi, A tegur. Lepas habis kelas, B tegur. Nak keluar rehat, C pulak tegur.

Tapi di masa yang lain, XXX pakai baju jarang. Takde siapa sanggup tegur sebab semuanya takut.

Orang yang sanggup jujur dengan kita ni, zaman skrg mungkin ada satu dalam seribu je. So I'm very thankful :)

Goodbye, Mak.

It was 6.30 pm on a hot Sunday when I heard my phone ringing. I was still half-awake when Ummi asked,

"Dah dengar news ke? Mak Fauzie dah takde."

"Ohhhh..."

 I didnt know what to feel. Despite knowing that he was in deep misery, I had the gut to upset him more by being immature, last night. I knew I was gonna regret it. But I let my ego wins.

I cried, without Ummi knowing. I cried, because I couldnt imagine how Fauzie is taking everything in. He lost his father during his 2nd year. And in his final year, he lost his mother. And he was in India when he lost both of them.

I never cried because of someone else's pain. I didnt know why I cried this time. Maybe it's because I always waited for the day to come, when I can finally say to his mom ; "If I were to have a son, I would want him to become just like Fauzie..."

Allah tak izinkan aku jumpak Mak. Still, He let me skyped with her twice, and spoke via phone a few times. I'm still sad, because I never had the chance to meet her personally, and I knew she would never know how I look like. She was blind, because of her diabetes.

Above all, the main reason I'm sad is, I'm sad on behalf of him. Beratnya ujian yang Allah bagi dekat Mohd Fauzie.

I'm thankful, because Ummi was deeply concerned about him. She kept on calling me, asking if she could go and visit the family. Katanya, dia teringat suara Mak, ajak melawat pergi Terengganu. Mak banyak kali cakap nak call Ummi, bincang pasal Fauzie dan aku. Tapi, nampaknya tak sempat langsung.

Mak was a lucky woman. Tak semua orang berpeluang ada anak sebaik Fauzie. I'm not saying this because I love him. But these are the reasons why I appreciate his presence in my life.

We dont communicate everyday. And when he's at his lowest point, he didnt find me. He would search for God. One day, Mak masuk hospital, and I lost him for a few days, until his roommates texted me via Facebook, saying he was worried about Fauzie because he had been crying and reading Quran all day. His roommate is a Tao. (Taoism). I was relieved, because I know he's safe in God's hands.

When he went back home, he would become the Imam to his mom, reciting Quran for her. His life revolved around taking care of his mom, making use of the days left. And when I text him when I'm at home, he would ask me to go help Ummi, and stop texting him. Susah nak cari lelaki yang tau hormat anak dara orang, tau letakkan diri dia kat mana, that he's inferior than my parents, my time doesnt belong to him...everything is just the way that I want my anak gadis to be respected and treated later. And that, came from a good upbringing from his parents.

While I'm typing this, we still havent communicate. If Ummi didnt call me, I wouldnt have known at all. Semoga Allah tempatkan Mak dalam kalangan orang yang soleh. She went through a lot. It's time for her to finally rest.

#8February2015

The Best Oral Surgery Posting in My Life :D

Assalamualaikum :)

Yesterday (15 January 2014) was a really good day for me. I had a patient for impaction, and he's someone whom I care about for the reason of him being so punctual, cooperative, and he doesnt talk unnecessarily.  I was so excited the night before as I was going to do it under Dr Venkat's supervision and guidance. I had longed to do one impaction under him ever since I assisted Chen Wei.

My patient (Mr Iz) arrived at 10.15am as promised. Already told him to eat breakfast and brush his teeth before coming. I took around 15 minutes to get everything ready. We had to use the chair at the bay since the one inside the OT room was malfunctioned. When he sat on the dental chair, I administered the local anaesthesia. Sebenarnya aku nervous sampai aku terlupa nak bagi topical. Huk!

Dr Venkat gave me 2 options for the extension of the incision, either do it on the middle of the 2nd molar or extend it slightly anterior to include the interdental papilla between the 1st and 2nd molars. I opted for the 1st one since I wanted to try doing it under a smaller field and also because aku taknak suture at papilla.

Sebenarnya aku rasa smaller field mcm lagi senang because it's easier to manage. After that, I did my buccal guttering. It took only few minutes sebab aku dah power. HHAHAHAH. No lah. Kalau baca Dr Syamirul punya blog, he believes in OBSERVE, ASSIST, PERFORM. That was exactly what I did so it was quite easy bila dah tau how to go about it.

Then came the most fun part ; splitting the tooth. It was a distoangular impaction which is the toughest of all. Yang mana aku rasa mcm takboleh buat, I let Dr Venkat did it for me as I didnt want to jeopardize the patient and also because I wanted to minimize the time. After that, he helped me to elevate the tooth. When it started to become a bit loose or mobile, he got up and asked me to take my time in removing it.

Truth is, aku paling tak reti guna straight Coupland elevator sebab aku tak reti nak engage tang mana. Tried to do it according to his way but I failed. Then I managed to find my own application point and Pooop! The tooth just got elevated nicely. Ah! What a bless. Alhamdulillah.

Suturing was tough though. Iz bled mcm ayaq terjun and Dr Venkat said we might accidentally tercucuk one of the buccal arteries but he said itsokay. Just ask the pt to bite the gauze tightly for 5 minutes and he should be fine. Myra tried suturing but it was loose 2 times, and patient aku tu sebenarnya dah start sakit tapi dia tak berani cakap. Faham sangat dah. So I took over.

Masa aku bagi MC and prescription form, I saw Iz looking very tired and mata dia merah dah. Kesian pulak. I asked him to go back and rest, even asking him if he could drive in that condition. Hahahaha.

Oh ya, thanks to Myra and Yazid for being good assistants and runners and motivators :D

Later that afternoon, I had surgery practical. Basically we had to help the juniors but there were not many cases and some of my groupmates had one impaction case. So I spent my day talking crap with Dr Venkat.

Comel betul dia masa dia cakap dia dah tua and "I'm scared of getting old" sambil muka mencebik mcm kids. GILA COMEY WEYYY TAK TIPU ERGH.

Rupanya dia baru 34. We talked about coffee and he was surprised to know that I love Bru coffee. Said he would buy one for me "as an exchange of culture". Tah padia aku pon tatau. Bahasa dia macam-macam sangat. Layan kan je la selagi dia tengah dok sporting tu :S

The best part is he called me "little surgeon".

"Come here little surgeon. See this case and give your opinion."

"So what our little surgeon thinks?"

"Ask her. She is the little surgeon today"

Aku selalu rasa dia tak kenal aku pun. So it was quite a nice feeling not because I think I'm a that good, tapi sebab dia agak friendly haritu dengan aku to call me by that name. And aku kenal dia dari perspective yang lain. And I learnt a lot about impaction procedure.


Thankyou Allah :)

One fine Friday.

Assalamualaikum :)

Last Friday was quite eventful for me. For the first time, I had pedo patient that I could call mine (not literally as my friend kindly pass him over to me). His name is Ethan, aged 7, and he's very silent. He'd just smile and grin. Despite that, he's very clever for his age. He would raise his hands (never thought him to do so) when he started to feel uncomfortable. Mungkin Ain dah ajarkan dulu kot :D

I had to perform pulpectomy on him ; RCT untuk gigi susu. Sayangnya gigi dia boleh kata semua dah rosak. So people, jangan cuma jaga kesihatan anak-anak awak je, kesihatan gigi diorang pun kena jaga. Or else bila dia sakit gigi, dia akan kurang makan pastu jadi kurus.

When I tried to inject Ethan, he shouted but he didnt push the needle abruptly like some kids. And he didnt cry. Comel betul. Such a well-behaved kid. Then Dr Uma mula risau so she asked me to get up, and she ended up doing everything on him.

Ada 1 time tu Ethan pegang2 bebird dia. Aku mmg tak perasan langsung. Dr Uma yang tanya, "u wanna go toilet?" Barula dia angguk. *fuhhh fuhhhh*

And then I did something I deeply regret ; I forgot to monitor him seriously. I thought he was sucking his lips. Then Dr Uma came and shouted, "HE'S BITING HIS LIPS! DONT U SEE THAT?"

Alahai. Berdarah dasyat bahagian dalam bibir Ethan. I felt so guilty. Sebabnya, kids tak faham perasaan kebas tu. So diorang akan test dengan cara gigit. Lepas tu bila tak rasa apa, they'll bite harder. Ethan pulak taknak gigit gauze, so we had to keep on pegang2 bibir dia sambil igtkan dia jangan gigit. He only stopped when I showed him mirror.

______________________________________________

In the afternoon I called my patient whom I did crown on her. Dia call pagi tu, sebab one of the gigi is vital, and she felt the sensitivity on that tooth and Dr Kiran suruh call ptg tu jugak.

When she arrived, terus Dr Kiran cakap, "Miyn, we will adjust the crown this time okay? We will do everything again. I couldnt sleep last night..."

Sebenarnya ada problem sikit walaupun haritu dah ambil final impression. Esthetically tooth prep tu mcm tak cantik sangat. Aku pun rasa mcm kena buat baru. So memang aku gelabah sikit sebab aku tak suka bila aku tak well-prepared barang2. Nak ambil final impression perlukan banyak barang jugak at the chairside.

Rasa teruk bila Dr Kiran gelakkan aku yang gelabah when he said, "Miyn...stop..and breathhhee..."

Sebab aku sendiri pun tak suka org gelabah mak nenek. hahahahahha. To be honest aku manada gelabah. Aku blurr. Dia suruh amek mixing tip, aku tak register apekah benda tu. Dlm kepala aku igtkan spatula pastu aku end up berdiri kt nurse station tu sebanyak 10 saat. Duhhhhh!

Alhamdulillah, everything went well and I had some bonding session with Dr Kiran throughout the 2 hours. He remained calm and managed to have his sense of humour. He's such a good teacher, someone that I look up to.

Bila dia cerita dia kena buat complete denture on 100 patients, around 30 FPD, 30 RPD, 15 CPD, from clinical to lab works, aku rasa macam...

Bersyukurlah miyn ko kena buat 5 unit CD je! Patutla hebat sangat cikgu-cikgu aku. From zero diorang kena buat and faham. Fuhhhh, salute habis!

So now I can proceed calmly with my crown fabrication :) Alhamdulillah. Rasa sedih pulak lepas ni takyah buat crown dah, hahahahha 2 ketoi mcm sikit sangat.

Angel Eyes

Ahhhhh. Assalamualaikum :)

Where do I begin? I'm shamelessly have to make a confession, that I..

...am indulging myself in Korean dramas. Huargh!

I was actually watching this one Kdrama tajuk dia What Happens to My Family, it was fun until I fell in love with this one cute girl dalam tu. So I began my searching about her previous drama. And from there I found Angel Eyes.

Dia berlakon 2 episod je pun, tapi aku dah tertengok sampai episod 12 ni macam mana? :S 

What I loved about the drama is, watching how the hero became helpless and gained his strength from the women he loved (mom and girlfriend). 

Just now ada 1 babak ni, whereby heroin tu rasa gerammm dekat hero tu sebab dia hilang tetibe, and then she looked at her ring, and then she was assured that he was going to come back.

Teringat incidence few days ago. When Matpau spent his money on me, and I said membazir...he just replied,

"tengok cincin kat jari tu..."

He sure knows how to make me speechless. I guess bagus lah our long distance relationship ni. Jarang contact, jarang jugak mesej, jumpa lagiiiiii la setahun sekali but he always bought me things to keep me reminded of him.

Will disclose what he bought for me in another entry bila benda tu dah sampai. Although I didnt ask for it, I sure iz happppy :)

 

#PrayForPantaiTimur

Assalamualaikum :)

As you all are aware of, banjir yang jadi dekat beberapa negeri sekarang ni is the worst flood that ever happened in our country. At first, aku mengaku aku agak indifferent sebab diri sendiri dan keluarga masih dalam keadaan selesa. But not for long after aku mula rasa affected lepas terbaca status dan kisah kawan-kawan terdekat yang terlibat dengan banjir ni.

My house used to be affected around 2 years ago. Masa tu aku di India. Dan Ummi sorang-sorang kat rumah. I was kept updated by my sister yang masa tu di KL. Air naik dengan sangat cepat pastu masuk dalam rumah, tapi Alhamdulillah cuma kat paras betis.

Tapi yang buat aku sedih ialah sebab Ummi terpaksa keluar dari rumah tu dan park kereta depan rumah kedai entah mana-mana pastu tido kat situ sebab taktau nak pergi mana.

So you could say that, I kinda know what it feels like. Walaupun kerosakan cuma sedikit nak dibandingkan dengan orang Pantai Timur sekarang ni, tapi dah cukup nak buatkan hidup kau huru hara sekejap.

_______________

Hari ni aku bersyukur.

Haritu aku jumpa cincin RM30 murahan kat Jusco. Lepas tu aku buatlah perangai mengada suruh matpau belikan dengan alasan aku nak pakai cincin dia bagi, fake pun takpe. Cincin yang mak dia bagi tu besar sangat dan hanya menjadi hiasan di dalam lemari. Matpau being matpau (he will give what he wants not what I want) he insisted that I buy a proper gold ring, bukannya something that I will throw away later on (macamla aku akan buang :(( )

So he transfered me some money and insisted that I go look for a new gold ring. Takfaham kenapa taknak bagi 30 hengget je tapi nak bagi ratus ratus but itsokay. It's his money anyway.

Lepas aku survey2, ternyata takde cincin yang dpt menandingi cincin sepuluh yang mak dia bagi ni. Boleh kata aku tak jumpa pun cincin sepuluh (which is cincin 999 : 99.9% gold). Aku nak yang kosong baru nampak classy macam Lord of The Ring, bagi aku yg berukir tu macam kureng sikit but they are either 916 or 750 ringan macam angin tak tipu. Matpau cakap, belilah anything yang buat aku happy. Disebabkan aku tak rasa happy, aku tak beli.

Alhamdulillah bila aku tanya Habib Jewels diorang ckp boleh kecikkan cincin dengan bayaran around RM30. Mulanya it was impossible sebab cincin ni 'padu' according to the abang but tukang cincin cakap boleh. Alhamdulillah.

____________________

So as I got a new ring, of course I need to return the balance to Matpau back right? Petang ni pulak menderu-deru iklan datang, tentang siapa nak sumbangkan tenaga atau barang untuk mangsa banjir.

So I texted him,

"Do you mind contributing some of your balance money utk mangsa banjir? Saya nak awak dapat pahala sikit walaupun awak jauh"

 He asked me how much is the balance. And then he replied;

"Bagilah semua"

T_________T

Tahniah arwah pakcik Ismail. You raised a good son. Saya harap kalau ada jodoh, we can produce a good son like yours one day. Semoga pahala kebaikan yang dibuat oleh anak pakcik, bagi manfaat dekat pakcik kat sana jugak insyaAllah.

________________________

Pesanan seseorang..

Bila nak buat kebaikan, jangan fikir banyak kali. Hidayah Allah bukan datang selalu.

My 2nd Impaction Case

Assalamualaikum :)

Today I'm very happy and grateful. Allah had blessed me a good day. In the morning, there was a group of 3rd year students yang baru first time posting Oral Surgery. And today I had a patient for suture removal. So I asked the permission from Dr Koshy to let one of the juniors do it. He asked me to choose one but I couldnt (aku nak pilih budak perempuan paling cute tapi nanti macam favoritism terlebih awal pulak) so he picked the one on the dental chair.

She was very good. Seronok bila budak tu confident. I showed her once and guided her throughout. She didnt go gelabah like some people so I liked her :)

Then I helped them with an extraction, along with Naurah. Didnt know that teaching is fun, especially when you have the right knowledge. Rasa happy nak share dgn other people, happier when they were so keen on learning. Their knowledge on the first day of posting was waayyyyyyyy better than mine. I had..like, zero?

Then during the afternoon session, masa jalan2 dlm klinik suddenly Dr Koshy asked me to take the history of one patient (belongs to Laura) coz it might be an impaction case. Bla bla cut the story short, it was an impaction case. And I had to do it with Naurah along with Laura.

I remember hating impaction because I did it for 4 hours and it was on my brother. The guilt was still there. Like, seriously Miyn, 4 hours? But sokay ... I was actually quite excited after observing Dr Dhamindra yesterday. So I aimed to do it better this time.

.....

And yes, I was better at it. I reflected the mucose nicely, and Naurah helped to guide me. She did the splitting of the tooth, and I took 2 parts of the tooth out! And it was shorter than 4 hours hehehehhe so I'm happy. A bit of achievement eh miyn?

I believe that a person can be good at something if he does it a number of times, provided that he has the passion for it. Alhamdulillah for this another opportunity. Expecting more impactions in the future!

A Visit to Melaka General Hospital

Assalamualaikum :)

Today my group (A3) finally had the chance to go to the MGH for our Oral Surgery posting. We only go to the hospital on Mondays, and we rotate every 5/6 students each time. So basically our group is the last ones to go there.

At around 2, we waited at the lobby for Dr Venkat to arrive and accompany us there (comel kan macam bapak teman anak-anak hantar gi sekolah hehe). Sampai je klinik tu, he went to the see the person in charge and then baru dia suruh kitorang masuk, then dia pun balik lah kolej. Again, rasa macam bapak-bapak :p

I heard so many good stories about the oral surgery department, especially about this one oral surgeon named Dr Dhamindra so I was quite excited to meet him in person, and scared at the same time because I know I sure kena jawab soalan bertubi tubi pastu akan terserlah lah ketidakpandaian aku ni.

He was being friendly when he greeted us...

"Manipal students? Im Dr Dhamindra, this is Dr Johanis. Come lets see this opg..."

It was a case of impacted 3rd molars and the patient was scheduled for removal of all her 3rd molars under general anesthesia the next day. Fuhhh!

Yang comelnya diorang panggil IOPA sebagai xray kecik, OPG tu xray besar.

"Jom pakcik kita ambil xray kecik" HAHAHAHAH :p

Lepas tu mula lah boring sebab tak banyak case and Dr Dhamindra went somewhere else. So we were like mati kutu just mainly observe the instruments, the set up and how the dental officers kept on documenting their patient's treatment info.

Then Naurah went intai2 outside and I slowly followed her. We saw Dr Dhamindra inside a room, with a patient on the dental chair. Then ada abang DSA lalu, dia tanya, "nak tengok ke? Tanyala, kalau boleh then masuk.."

We got our permission then Dr Dhamindra terus tutup pintu, leaving the rest of our groupmates outside hahahahhaa. (Sorrry!)

Oh! He did the impaction case in only 15 minutes! (I actually literally recorded the time with my watch). Damn fast and nice weyyyyy. It was a clean procedure and he was so professional, cakap dengan patient dengan lembutnya I feel like everyone should remove their 3rd molar under him only. Ok over.

Then there was a case of natal teeth. Alahai so cute the newly born baby arrived in the Paediatric department dlm incubator (?) and all the DSA were trying to calm the baby. Naurah and I were so excited that the baby can brag around saying "Ya knowww, I had my first dental visit just a few hours after I was born!"

We observed how the specialist managed the baby, applying the topical LA before removing the natal tooth calmly, of course with the presence of his/her parents. Baby tu baik sangat, I'm sure he/she will grow into a good kid :)

And then we observed Dr Johanis removed an upper 3rd molar using elevators and extraction forcep. Selang2 sampaila gigi tu keluar macam eh senangnya. Then he brought us to take impression for a patient scheduled for an orthognatic surgery. Ajar-ajar sikit macam mana measure muka and ambil bites for record purpose.

To be honest, I kinda like the environment there. DSA semuanya happy-go-lucky je. Ok aku tengok yang lelaki je la sebab diorang muda and happening and ramai. Yang older sikit are females and diorang tak lama duduk kat situ but there was one helpful staff yang tolong a FYDO do charting.

I hope Allah will send me to the best place where I could learn the most, under the supervision of good dentists who are down-to-earth just like Dr Dhamindra and Dr Johanis :)